Funerals

Wednesday, September 11

I know for all of us 9/11 is a somber day of remembrance.  It was odd to be in a foreign world where it was not talked about at all.  But every time I wrote the date, it was in my thoughts.

I slept well and felt some better this am although my voice sounds like I am a 12 year old boy going through voice change.  I almost ran into a monkey at the gate and I don’t know which of us was more startled. I caught a pictures as he darted away.  

We had pediatric clinic and started early this morning.  A woman from the village who was well known died on Sunday and her funeral was today.  Because of this, the local babysitters, cooks, and housekeepers were at the funeral and not working today.  Nurses and other staff had kids on their backs at work. Catherine needed to attend the funeral and so with her own child in tow, we started clinic early so she could leave early.  We had a constant stream of little ones. Many doing well, some not. Most needing formula that is paid for by Catherine (and those of you who sent donations-by the way your generosity caused her to cry on Monday in gratitude and relief).  The cleft palate baby has grown so much that he will have surgery next week with Operation Smile.

We also saw Daniel, the little twin I enjoy holding.  We had noted swelling of his leg and over a week it has not improved.  X-ray revealed a healing fracture, probably from the traumatic delivery and the healing calus is what we had noted.  He will be fine. Catherine, the chubby baby in past pictures at the home has also develop a hemangioma. Nicole just has so much on her plate.

Stephano, the diabetic, also showed for clinic.  His brother had the notecards with all the numbers recorded.  He is doing well and I only needed to make a slight adjustment in his schedule.  He was grinning ear to ear. His Hello Kitty sweatshirt that he has worn every time I have seen him is very endearing.  I will never see Hello Kitty the same.

During the morning, we were also checking on little David who I admitted yesterday.  He still was not looking good this morning so we gave him some more fluid and added another medicine.  He has moved to the CPAP machine which is our highest level of respiratory support. In looking through the records though it was discovered that many of his medicines were not given through the night.  So frustrating!

Catherine left for the funeral around 11 and we still had several to see.  I finished up by around noon and cleaned up the area and put everything away.  I went to the pediatric ward and Susan went to lunch. I went through charts, saw a few patients and wrote some notes.  I was really not feeling so hot by that point. I finished some reading there at the desk with the nurses for educational discussions tomorrow.

Susan returned after 2, and at that point I headed to the guesthouse actually done for the day since I had not had a lunch break and started early.  Amelia and Melissa were on the porch. Today was a difficult one for them as well. With the funeral, the meetings and statements Melissa is working on for her rebuttal were put on hold.  The sitting and not being able to make progress is the worst.

Then Nicole messaged.  David had passed away. Oh my heart. I know I did what was in my power, but I feel that I failed him.  And poor Nicole. She had to get the body and take him to the village, where they dug the hole as she stood and watched and buried him.  She made similar comments about the feeling of failure. The truth is that she has saved so many! But in this moment, tiny David is lost.

I went to the orphanage and collected Daniel.  I took him to the NICU and had a nurse draw blood, paid for the test in the cashier line, and went to the lab.  His blood tests and exam are reassuring for all of us that he for now is well. That is all I can do. That and offer reassurance to Nicole.

We all had dinner together but the mood in all of Nkhoma is sad tonight.  Too many funerals. Too much hurt. Little ones with so much loss already. Families kept apart.

There is hope and there is eternal rest.  But for now in Nkhoma, we will cry and rest, and give it our all again tomorrow.