Going Home

Wednesday, October 23

I didn’t write a blog yesterday.  It is one of the few days that I have skipped on this trip.  I don’t really know what to say other than I just couldn’t. I just didn’t have it in me.  I felt like I was a windshield with a crack and that exploring my feelings about the day would make the crack spiderweb until I just fell apart into tiny shards.  So I didn’t.

I am not really sure that today is different.  I think today, as I start the 40+ hour journey home, I will just download thoughts and facts and observations, so that at the end it will be complete and done.  I don’t want to lose details or events, but I feel quite frail and fragile and need to keep it together at least until the final plane has been boarded. So, pardon the rambling, the inconsistent tenses, and lack of a solid stream of consciousness.  This may be a good one for anyone reading to skip.

So let me start with yesterday.  I awoke at my usual going to work time.  However, I was super rested and had slept through the night without a single awakening.  I did some getting ready and packing up but then went and had a cup of coffee with the Dutch students.  We exchanged hugs all around as they left with sweet words of friendship and admiration spoken. It is so neat to see God bind people together that in the normal rhythms of life would never even be acquaintances. 

The Swedes left later but still sought me out for hugs before they left.  Then I finished packing up. I was able to pass so gift to the housekeeper at the inn for her and a doll for her daughter Philipina.  I also had some coffee with Stan and Priscilla the owner and manager of the inn. I told them that I had come expecting that the “living” component of this adventure would be something I would have to endure but instead the community at the guesthouse has brought me such joy!!  Totally unexpected and a God given provision.

Melissa and the girls got up a little later.  Melissa was feeling much better and was up for taking me to town and making a day of it, so she gave the girls a little snack and we loaded up.  

Driving away from Nkhoma, created a cacophony of emotions.  It seamed surreal to be driving the road for the last time. The views that started me months ago now so comfortable and familiar. Hearing the girls chatter in the back about typical kids lessons in Africa. You know “you can’t go into the water cause of all the crocodiles” and ”you can’t go to bed until your net is down” kinds of info.

We went to a favorite little coffee/breakfast spot with a playground for the girls.  Conversation was a little more quiet today. Both us hopeful that good news will come by email.  I drift to thoughts of home but hate to talk solely of that knowing that I am leaving this dear friend.  We then headed to the hotel where I stayed last night. We found soft chairs under a tree and some shade.  The girls swam and jumped in the pool and I joined them for awhile. We had a picnic lunch and cooled drinks that were a treat.  We held our breath hopbig that news from USCIS would come. The two other times that Melissa has gotten emails they came on a Tuesday near lunch time, so we were hopeful.  But yesterday was not the day.  

At around 3, it was time for them to return to Nkhoma.  Melissa and I both had damp eyes. I gave the girls little dolls I had brought with me and she left me with a gift to open later.  We held each other in a tearful embrace of true sister love. And off they went. I did a quick collection of my things and made a run for my room.  There I broke down, sad to be leaving friends that are precious, thankful I have gotten to walk a part of their journey with them, and pleading for God to send them home soon.

I got myself together and went to sit outside and read in the last light of the day.  I checked my phone though and found a sweet posting Melissa had done about me and proceeded to ugly cry for all to see.  I ducked back inside only to find the gift and note she had left me. Earrings I had admired on one of our adventures that she had purchased on the sly.  More tears. At this point, we were entering concerning levels of dehydration. I downed a bottle of water and made the decision that the blog could wait.  I went through my suitcase one last time and took a scalding and hard scrubbing shower.

This morning, I attempted to sleep in and was at least lazy in getting up.  I slowly got ready. I showered again excited about getting ready with electricity meaning taming my wild mane that had not seen a blow dryer or straightener for 3 months.  But alas, as I stepped out of the shower the power went off. Best laid plans!!

The transfer to the airport was great with air conditioning in the car.  The truck drivers are on strike for higher wages and so trucks are just parked along the roads and traffic is tight and slow. 

Today, I looked around and saw Malawi differently.  Partly because it is a different season and looks different.  Only the trees are green now. Everything else is parched and dry and even burned.  It is hard to imagine anyone or anything can survive in this landscape. It is also different because I am different.  This is not a people that intimidates or intrigues me anymore, they are a people I have a deep affinity and respect for.  They are tough,strong, and tenacious but they are also happy, kind, and welcoming.  

They are the warm heart of Africa!

And now it is time to head home.  It will be a long journey full of irritants and nuisances and other “princess” problems.  I am ready to see all of my family and friends. I am ready for the ease of America and the glory of nachos.

But….I am certainly leaving a part of my heart in Nkhoma!

Thank you to all of you who have journeyed with me.  Your likes and comments have been a constant source of encouragement and helped me to not feel disconnected.  I have felt covered by your prayers and strengthened by your words. Thank you for pouring into me. I will forever be grateful!