Calm

Thursday, September 5

Today I am tired. I want to say that I am invigorated and refreshed and full of zeal. That would be a lie. I am not broken, don’t worry about me. I feel emotionally sunburned. Raw. Sensitive. I am in dread of the pokes and prods that will come today that will hurt. I know they will not leave permanent marks. I will be fine. But like a two year old- I just don’t want to!

Morning report started with frustration. The key was forgotten and so we stood and waited and waited. The night crew was obviously more bothered. Hard to blame them. Then some started to walk away, a direct show of disrespect. There was a lot of tension.  We finally started but tempers were high throughout. Fortunately, nothing from Peds was controversial. 

On the wards, I quickly went to the grieving mother. The toddler had not had any signs of poisoning overnight and I discharged her rapidly so they could head home. Wow- remember my first paragraph. Oh, my burden is so light. This is but a temporary adventure for me. For this mom, yesterday is woven into the rest of her life. Her grief was heavy and palpable. It did not feel like a time to rejoice, but I am so thankful for the survival of the little one on her back.

The blood sugars were all over the place and I am so frustrated. By all logic, the correct doses of insulin were just not given. I had hoped my buddy could head home today.  I would pull my hair out but at this rate I would be bald in a week. I reinstructed and educated again. I brought out the Sharpies to mark syringes. The nurses were ecstatic about that.  Wayne, my love, for Christmas I am asking for this one's hospital bill! It will be a doozy by Malawian standards.

Susan and Sam helped with rounds today so we finished on time for me to help a little in the nursery. Aisha also reviewed the babies with me because I will cover for her a few hours this afternoon.  We have a few puzzlers. If these kiddos would read up on the medical handbooks and present the way they should it would be much easier.

We walked back to  pedi and I did some reading and then headed to lunch.  Lunch was nice. I made some toast and eggs. I think I mentioned that groceries are limited. At lunch I sat and talked with Melissa, Amelia, and Nicole and drank some tea.  My throat is very sore today and that seemed to help. There was a huge trash fire going most of the day with smoke drifting through my laundry. I am going to smell like a chimney next week.

After lunch, my student and I headed back to Pedi.  There was one new admission that no one had seen so we saw them.  We then did some teaching about diabetes, IV fluids, and general pediatrics.  We had checked some lab and so we collected those results. I covered for our NICU clinical officer from 2-4 so I was praying for no issues.  We dealt with a few things on the ward and then got a call to the NICU. An infant from post partum has a nasty looking lesion on its head. I drained it and admitted him to the ICU and antibiotics.  Then it was time to be done for the day.

Back at the guesthouse, I got some good kid therapy in.  I watched the older kids play (milk cans make great drums) and snuggled with babies.  Daniel especially loved his little baby massage. It was a calm day and a relaxing evening.  I am

hoping that leads to a good nights sleep.

Thank you Lord for a period to catch my breath!